67. WASTED YEARS

67. WASTED YEARS

Simhavalokanam: It is said that when a lion walks, it stops at intervals and looks back at the path it has walked. We do not know what prompts it. May be it wants to decide how far it has travelled or whether it has been on the right track. These are purely human speculations with regard to the lion.

The examined life

We are not lions, but some of us may at times examine the way we have lived. Socrates said that the unexamined life is not worth living. Famous people are usually asked what they would do if they were to start over again, and they usually say they would do exactly as they have done. We are not famous either, and no one asks us. But I am sure some of us at least ask ourselves this question!

Divinity shaping our ends!

We from the middle class had no choice in many things. We had to study, get a degree and get a job!  We could not choose any subject, or any school or college. We took what we got!  And for job too, we didn't have much of a choice.If like a true Hindu, we believe in Brahma lipi, we take it as what is destined for us. Shakespeare says in Hamlet, Act 5, Scene 2:

HAMLET Sir, in my heart there was a kind of fighting That would not let me sleep. Methought I lay Worse than the mutines in the bilboes. Rashly— And praised be rashness for it: let us know Our indiscretion sometimes serves us well When our deep plots do pall, and that should teach us There’s a divinity that shapes our ends, Rough-hew them how we will—

HAMLET There was a kind of war in my brain that wouldn’t let me sleep. It was worse than being a captive in chains. Sometimes it’s good to be rash—sometimes it works out well to act impulsively when our careful plans lose steam. This should show us that there’s a God in heaven who’s always guiding us in the right direction, however often we screw up—

[ I have given the modern English rendering from the volume published in the No Fear Shakespeare series. It is so easy to follow.]

Sarah Bernhardt as Hamlet.
Photo by James Lafayette.

This is it. Sometimes we are so thoughtful and calculating.More often, though, we act just on impulse. Both work at times, and perhaps more often, neither does. Then, we throw up our hands and say 'yes, there is a power that shapes our ends, no matter what we do.' 

At the end of a long life, no one can claim he has been clever. 

The successful man is just favoured by Providence! No one has fathomed life and its forces.

Michel De Montaigne- French philosopher, contemporary of Shakespeare. It is said that the philosophical ideas in Hamlet are similar to those of Montaigne.

Life and Destiny


 Our celluloid poet Sahir Ludhianvi  wrote in Hum Dono (1961)

Jo kuch bhi mil gaya usi ko muqaddar samaj liya
Jo kho gaya main usko bhulata chala gaya

Main zindagi ke saath nibhata chala gaya

Whatever came my way I took it as my destiny
What I lost, I got it out of my mind.

I faithfully followed wherever life took me.

What is the point in crying over spilt milk? So he says:

Barbadiyon ka shok manana fizzul tha
Barbadiyon ka jishn manata chala gaya

It was pointless to worry about my difficulties/ destruction
So I celebrated  those very difficulties!

Can we celebrate our difficulties? Well, this is also what the great Tiruvalluvar says in his Kural 621:

இடுக்கண் வருங்கால் நகுக; அதனை
அடுத்தூர்வது அஃதொப்பது இல்.

 When you meet a misfortune, face it with a smile. That is the best way to face it!

Could have done better?

Whatever it is, some of us cannot help feeling at times that life could have been so different in quality, even within the given contours! I worked in 7 cities over 35 years. After I was transferred from a place, I used to review how I lived there: what was the speciality of the place, how I related to it, whether I got to know the place well,etc. It always left me with a feeling that I had not done all I could. I could have done better, or at least differently!

For people who spend their working lives in a single career (unlike the job-hopping which prevails today) the regret may take the form of not being able to move up in the hierarchy faster, or not having had opportunities to show their talents fully. This second regret is the more serious. When we know we can do something and we don't get to do it, it hurts us.

But this cannot be helped in a hierarchy- rigid bureaucracy. I do not know how it is in the private sector. In the govt there is no question at all- no one can do or usually does anything The Tamil poet Pattukottai Kalyanasundaram  wrote once that because people in responsible positions sleep, lot of important work remains undone! 

பொறுப்புள்ள மனிதரின் தூக்கத்தினால்
பல பொன்னான வேலையெல்லாம் தூங்குதப்பா.

Our bureaucracy is a giant Rip Wan Winkle!

In the public sector organizations and the autonomous bodies, there is lot of scope for experiment, innovation and improvement. But this is not possible due to the trade union attitude, and is not permitted by the hierarchy. Usually a boss would not like or encourage a more talented or intelligent subordinate, except to the extent he can get ideas for his own advancement. 

Trade Union tricks

Trade unions would never permit any improvement. I had to handle labor early in my career, and that in a troublesome place where there were 4 unions- the CPM and BMS holding the extreme ends. I found that most of the issues were non issues really- they were caused by the attitude of the managers and also the ideological stance of the unions. Nothing could be done.  30 years later, I became the officer in charge and so had a free hand. I removed all causes for grievance, and met all legitimate demands. I found we had lot of discretion, really. Practical management is really problem solving.

The employees were all happy, but not the union. Once they drummed up an issue and called for a lunch-time demonstration, a very common weapon. In an organization where 1500 people worked, not even 20 people turned up! Later, the union leader  accused me that I had made his position difficult. I had removed all grounds for grievance, there were no pending issues, and his reelection was uncertain because he had no reason to be seen "to be active"! I then learnt the secret of trade unions: they do not want the problems to be really solved- they want to keep up the problem as both a bargaining point with the management, and also as a weapon to settle intra-union leadership rivalry. 

Clever grain merchants

I remembered a trick of the grain merchants I had heard  long ago.The grain merchants would face the problem of rats at night which would nibble at the grain bags. The traps would not work. So they would cover the grain bags with tarpaulins and tightly close them, but would keep vessels containing some nice eatables on the floor: the rats would eat them and not disturb the grain bags! Likewise, managements should also keep some minor issues pending so that the ego of the union leaders is satisfied! They must show to the flock that they 'fought' the management and 'won'. The management can never be graceful, or even intelligent or fair!

Wasted human potential

But see the damage of wasted years! In the organization I worked, the management would never dare to make any improvement. The suggestions we made in 1983 were not even considered. But in the last  decade, those very suggestions have been implemented ( with no credit given to the original authors) but even more drastic steps have been taken! More than 70% of the employees have retired normally or under voluntary schemes with fabulous benefits and the whole work is computerised! 

Those who worked in the 60s and 70s with so much hostility from the leftist unions and felt frustrated, feel sad that so many years of service were wasted. Managements had neither spine nor brain. Bureaucracy controlled the management, and politicians controlled the unions.Satan and Beelzebub in perfect tandem! Indira Gandhi depended on leftist support, and she did not like managements to deal firmly with the unions. I know one case where she personally asked the organization head to withdraw a case from the High Court, after the Court had given a favourable order! The officer was so shaken, his mental poise was affected! I always remember the words of national Tamil poet Subramanya Bharati:

வீணருக்குழைத்து உடலம்  ஓயமாட்டோம்!

We will not become emaciated by working for worthless men!

May be we should know when to quit!

But then, what do middle class people do for a living? Do they have a choice? Ours not to reason why! Again ,Shakespeare comes to our rescue:

my robe,	25
And my integrity to heaven, is all
I dare now call mine own. O Cromwell, Cromwell!
Had I but served my God with half the zeal
I served my king, he would not in mine age
Have left me naked to mine enemies.	30

Henry VIII, Act III.Scene2

Never too late to celebrate the Bard!